#070: Tran Thi Hoai Van

[luvmyacnq]

Hi! I am glad to hear that the QBO is organizing English writing contest. I hope this is a good chance for me and all the others. It can help us improve my English writing skill.
Now, I will present a little bit about mysheft. My name's Tran Thi Hoai Van. I'm sixteen years old. I'm a student at so 1 Bo Trach High school. I am in class 10A1 with forty-four other students. My parents often call me amicablely "cat". My family lives in Hoan Lao. I love my hometown because it is the place where I was born and grown up. Although the life in here is difficult, people are always kind and friendly. Therefore, I wish I can do something for my country to have a better life.
My family consists of four people. They are my parents, my brother and me. My family is a very happy one. We love each other very much and expect to live together under the sameroof forever. Almost everybody has some kind of hobby. My hobby is listening to music and reading books.
I'm very fond of music. When I am free, I often listen to my favourite English songs. Because they are very sweet and gentle. I also spend about an hour reading books at whenever I have free time. For me, good books are really good teachers and friends. I think that my hobby is very useful. It helps me widen my know ledge. relaxes my mind, and makes me feel better about myself. Besides, I also like going shopping with my mother and going for a pinic with my frients. As a girl living in the new century, I have a wish to be become a tourist guide. A bove all, I am sociable active, kind, patient, honest and good-looking. So I think the tourist guide is quite suitable job for me. It is a motive power that help me learn English better. I think that if I try my best and work methodically, I can get over these difficulties and master the English language.
I am sure that this contest will help me go to near my dream.

[Riêng]

Result: Pass
Comment: A very good self-introduction essay except some spelling mistakes that I guess because of your carelessness.

Your grammar and vocabulary is alright, however, in order to win the second round, you'd better use more complex structure, richer vocabulary and express more viewpoints with clear explanation.

Try to avoid the mistakes that I have already pointed out and do better in the second round.

Good luck.

Hi! I am glad to hear that the QBO is organizing an English writing contest. I hope this is a good chance for me and all the others. It can help us improve our English writing skill.
Now, I would like to introduce a little bit about myself. My name is (avoid this kind of abbreviation in formal writing) Tran Thi Hoai Van. I'm sixteen years old. I'm a student at so 1 Bo Trach High school. I am in class 10A1 with forty four other students. My parents often call me amicably "cat". My family lives in Hoan Lao. I love my hometown because it is the place where I was born and grown up. Although the life in (omit: in) here is difficult, people are always kind and friendly. Therefore, I wish I can do something for my country to have a better life.
My family consists of four people. They are my parents, my brother and me. My family is a very happy one. We love each other very much and expect to live together under the same roof forever. Almost everybody has some kind of hobby and my hobby is listening to music and reading books.
I'm very fond of music. When I am free, I often listen to my favourite English songs because they are very sweet and gentle. I also spend about an hour reading books at whenever I have free time. For me, good books are really good teachers and friends. I think that my hobby is very useful. It helps me widen my know ledge, relaxes my mind, and makes me feel better about myself (how?). Besides, I also like going shopping with my mother and going for a picnic with my friends. As a girl living in the new century, I have a wish to be (omit "be") become a tourist guide. Above all, I am sociable active, kind, patient, honest and good-looking. So I think the tourist guide is quite suitable job for me. It is a motive power that help me learn English better. I think that if I try my best and work methodically, I can get over these difficulties and master the English language.
I am sure that this contest will help me to get nearer to my dream.