#105: Le Thi Hong Ngan

[Tam_2407]

My introduction
Name: Hong Ngan Le Thi

Date of birth: Junly (July) 30(th),1989.
Place of birth: My Thuy - Le Thuy - Quang Binh
Profession: Student of Quang Binh University
Nick name: Maytim_a6k42
Hobby:Listenning (Listening to) music, reading book, shopping & travelling (traveling)
Idol: Bi_Rain, West Life, & The sweet bar of chocolate_Doan Trang
Character: Simple, friendly
Dream: I hope to be a tour guide


The reason for this: As you know, our country - a hidden charm (imply the charm of the nature and people) - need(s) to be discovered. So, I wish I would become a tour guide to introduce all (the beauties of) our country to every body in (all) over the world.

Unforgetable (Unforgettable) experience: When I was about five years old, my family make (made) a travel to Da Nang city to visit my aunt. About three days later, because of going out alone without any permision (permission), I got lose (lost). I am (was) really so much frightened and my mind is (was) completely blank. I can not (could not, not "cannot") think of any idea which can (could) help me to come back home. Finally,I was taken to the house by a kind-hearted man. I actualy (actually) feel (felt) regretful of my action..It is the experience I can not (cannot) forget through my life.

Reason for attending this this (omit "this") competition: Nowadays, English has become the most popular international language. Every body wishing to have a good job agrees that having a good EL (English) skill (My suggestion: having a good command in English) is extremely important. Attending this competition gives me a chance to exchange experience of writing EL. Morever (Moreover), it is also make me more exciting in my EL practice. Finally, I would like to make friend with all contestants from every part of QB.

Judge: Minh Duc
Score: pass
Comment:
I hope to see some improvement from your next essay.
Please do the followings:
- Always use spacing after punctuation (i.e: ".", ",", ";", etc.) to separate your ideas, structures, sentences, etc. In this essay I have made it four you, but I hope that you will pay attention to this thing in your next essay.
- Always check your spelling errors (marked in red)
- Always use past tense verbs when talking about something that already happened in the past
- Use "-" instead of "_" to make compounds like "kind-hearted" or to separate a relevant idea, such as: "our country - a hidden charm (imply the charm of the nature and people) - need(s) to be discovered"

See you in the next round