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#19 Doan Cao Cuong -Judges-Duc Linh Quynh Anh-Done(pass)

Đã gửi:
Thứ 7 Tháng 4 12, 2008 11:07 am
gửi bởi luvmyacnq
My name is Cuong. At home,every body often calls me a close name "Cu". This year, I'm 17 years old and I'm in class 11A1 of Bo Trach high school- No1. I was born and grown up in Bo Trach district .
According to people, I'm friendly . I hate anybody who is selfish. My favourite sport is football although I'm very thin and short. In the afternoon, I often play football at stadium. I often do my homework from 7p.m to 10 p.m . In my freetime , I like watching films or football matches and reading books or newspapers...
I wish I would be a doctor so that I could help the poor.
Re: #19 Doan Cao Cuong -Judges-Duc Linh Quynh Anh

Đã gửi:
Thứ 7 Tháng 4 12, 2008 12:01 pm
gửi bởi Tocxu
luvmyacnq đã viết:My name is Cuong. At home,every body often calls me a close name "Cu". This year, I'm 17 years old and I'm in class 11A1 of Bo Trach high school- No1. I was born and grown up in Bo Trach district .
According to people, I'm friendly . I hate anybody who is selfish. My favourite sport is football although I'm very thin and short. In the afternoon, I often play football at stadium. I often do my homework from 7p.m to 10 p.m . In my freetime , I like watching films or football matches and reading books or newspapers...
I wish I would be a doctor so that I could help the poor.
Judge: Linh Nguyen,
Score: pass,
Comment: short but good enough introuduction. However, in order to succeed in the next round, you need to put more ideas into your writing.

Đã gửi:
Thứ 2 Tháng 4 14, 2008 2:22 pm
gửi bởi dieuvuongqb
Judge: Minh Duc
Score: Pass
Comment: Look forwards to having more ideas in his next round essay
#19 Summary

Đã gửi:
Thứ 4 Tháng 4 16, 2008 12:36 pm
gửi bởi Thiên Bình
Judges: Dieuvuongqb, Tocxu, Thien Binh
Contestant #19: Cuong
Subject: QBO-EWC 1st round
Score: Pass, Pass, Pass
Corrections and Suggestions:
My name is Cuong. At home, every body (one word) often calls me (by) a close (word choice: a more acquainted) name "Cu". (Period before the closing quotation.) This year, I'm 17 years old and I'm in class 11A1 of Bo Trach high school-No1. I was born and grown up in Bo Trach district.
According to people, I'm friendly. I hate anybody who is selfish. My favourite sport is football although I'm very thin and short. In the afternoon, I often play football at (the) stadium. I often do my homework from 7p.m to 10 p.m. In my freetime (two words), I like watching films (better word choice: movies) or football matches and reading books or newspapers...
I wish I would be a doctor so that I could help the poor.
Comment:
Your introduction was short and neat although we hope that you could tell us more about your dream to pursue a doctor profession. Here are a few suggestions to improve on the next round:
Be careful on the spacing of punctuation. All punctuation is placed directly after the ending word of a sentence. Give one space after the punctuation before you start a new sentence.
Pay attention to your word choice and the merging of words. Microsoft Word program can help you spell checks for this.
More, more, and more ideas! When you state an opinion, be sure to elaborate on why you feel a certain way.
Please review the comments carefully to prepare yourself for the next round. Good luck and we will be looking forward to your next essay. -- QBO EWC Judges.