QBO

luvmyacnq đã viết:Hi! I'm Quynh. I'm very glad to kwow (know) that QBO is organizing a writing English contest. I think it is a good studying condition for everyone.
My full name is Nguyen Nhu Quynh. I'm 16 years old. I was born and grew (grown) up into a from (in a) normal family in Dai Trach-apoor village. I live with my parents and a younger brother.
I'm thin and short so everybody usually calls me "Meo" and I like it. My hobbies are listening to music and watching TV. I often enjoy them whenever I have free time. I think, when watting (watching) TV, my knowledge is widened. I always listen English song(s) such as Apologize, When you belive (believe)… These songs cheer me up whenever I feel bad.
My school is very large and beautiful. Everyday, I go to school to learn and meet my friends, my teachers. My favorite subject is English. In the first term, I ranked the second and I (am) proud of it. Sometime(s) I dislike my classmate(s) because of (their) behaviors. I'm afraid of learning Physical education (Do you mean Physics) because my teacher is very irritating and strick (strict). But I like everything in my school of cause, not (except for) the teacher of physical education as I've said. I love my teacher, my friends and the different activities at school.
When I was young I dreamed I'm a music star though I didn't know much about music. However, not unil (until) I was 10 years old did I know that I can't become a famous singer (Why not???). And now, I want to be a good boss of a company in the future. I hope my dearm will be true (will come true).

Judge: Minh Duc
Score: Need verification (rewrite) before being accepted for the next round
Comment:
- Pay attention to spelling correction
- Pay attention to form of irregular verbs

@Duc: Physical education is atheletic subject in the school that teaches students running and jumping...(I guess ).

Judge: Linh Nguyen:,
Score: Pass,
Comments: no more

Judges: Dieuvuongqb, Tocxu, Thien Binh
Contestant #25: Nguyen Nhu Quynh
Subject: QBO-EWC 1st round
Score: Rewrite, Pass, Pass

Corrections and Suggestions:

Hi! I'm Quynh. I'm very glad to kwow (know) that QBO is organizing a writing English contest. I think it is a good studying condition (word choice “opportunity”) for everyone.
My full name is Nguyen Nhu Quynh. (Should say this at the beginning and take out the “I’m Quynh.”) I'm 16 years old. I was born and grew (conflict with “was born” because of parallelism. However, you can say “…, and I grew up…”) up into a from (in a) normal family in Dai Trach-apoor village. (typo! However, you have correctly used a dash and not very many people know how to use it.) I live with my parents and a younger brother.
I'm thin and short so everybody usually calls me "Meo" and I like it. My hobbies are listening to music and watching TV. I often enjoy them whenever I have free time. I think, when watting (watching) TV, my knowledge is widened (word choice: broaden). I always listen to English song(s) such as “Apologize”, “When you belive (believe.” Remember to put quotes for song titles.)… These songs cheer me up whenever I feel bad.
My school is very large and beautiful. Everyday, (two words. The word “everyday” is usually used as an adjective such as “this is an everyday event.”) I go to school to learn and meet my friends, my teachers. My favorite subject is English. In the first term, I ranked the (omit “the” and use second as an adverb) second (in my class) and I (am) proud of it. Sometime(s) I dislike my classmate(s) because of (their) behaviors. (What kind of behaviors?) I'm afraid of learning Physical (no capitalize) education because my teacher is very irritating and strick (strict). But I like everything in my school of cause (course), not (except for) the teacher of physical education as I've said. I love my teacher, my friends and the different activities at school.
When I was young I (have) dreamed (that) I'm a music star though I didn't know much about music. However, not unil (until) I was 10 years old did I know that I can't become a famous singer (Why not???). And now, I want to be a good boss of a company in the future. I hope my dearm will be true (dream will come true).

Comment:
Nice and very interesting introduction, makes us want to know more about you, and yet you are only 16! However, we challenge you to strive for perfection in the next round as you can see there are still some typos in your writing. You should pay more attention to spelling, word choice, and form of irregular verb. Also, be sure to not only put a statement or an opinion without supporting thoughts or evidences as you can see we have put a few “Why?” or “What?” questions for you to elaborate on. Good luck with the next round. –QBO-EWC Judges.