QBO

Huong Giang Street

Quang Binh , Viet Nam

5/15/2008 (the date to put here is the date that you've send your introduction rather than the dead line for submission)

Dear Secretary of the QBO English Writing Contest,

My full name is Le Thi Thanh Thuy. I was born and grown up in Dong Hoi city of Quang Binh province. Quang Binh province is a poor land so I want to contribute to the development of the land. Each person has their own ways to help their province. But for me, I hope I become a (an) English teacher. So I am learning hard. I am trying to practise (practice) many skills of English such as: reading, writing, listening, speaking and grammar.

Nowadays, I am a member of Geography 11 grade. My class has 27 students, with only 5 boys. However, my class is always in solidarity. I have many close friends. They always help me when I feel sad. I am very proud of my school which (in which) I am learning (now). my (My) school is Quang Binh gifted high school which trains many good students.

For me, the most important is my family. My familyhas (family has) 4 people: my father, my mother, my younger sister and I. They always spirit up me (word order) to overcome difficulties.

I feel very lucky when I have an opportunity to take part in the QBO English Writing Contest. This contest is a chance for me to improve my English writing skill. I think I can study many things from this contest. Further more (Furthermore), I want to take part in the second round. I hope, In (in) the futureQuang Binh (future Quang Binh) online will held (hold) many English contests for students - like me- (you don't need the dashes) to improve skills of English.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your faithfully,

Le Thi Thanh Thuy

The contestant of QBO English writing contest.

Judge: Minh Duc
Score: Pass
Comments:
- Thank you for your effort to edit and submit your essay for the second time. It means to me that you really consider this contest a chance for you to improve your English.
- Here is where you can improve your English
+ Always use V-inf(without to) after "will": will hold, not "will held"
- Here is what relates to your essay:
+ Always separate structures, sentences after punctuation: In some parts of the essay, you paid attention to this issue, but in some other parts, you just wrote down what you think right after the punctuation.
+ Always check spelling errors - marked underlined with red colour
+ Don't leave too much space in between paragraphs; 1 space should be enough.

I've added a few more corrections directly.