#047: Nguyen Thu Trang

[luvmyacnq]

Hello Every Body!
My name is TRANG.I was born in 1992 in Hoan Lao towns. My date of birth is 6_5. I used to learn at primary and secondary school in Hoan Lao towns. But from 2007 years I was studying at Hue college of science.I learn in grade 10 Literature.I lived with my family ago but now I am living with my friends.My family has four people.My father is a soldier, my mother is a small business and my younger sister is a student.I fell my life is wonderful because I know to catch the funny of life.In my free time I often draw some pictures and read novels beside I want to be discovered because I am self_confident about my efford.In my hollyday I like discovering natural: such as Phong Nha Cave,Phong Nha national Parks.I want to go to SAPA where has much snows white and mountains.I allway try to learn well because I wish I would become ALAWZER WOMAN.I think I have efford to do it. In my opinion , my life have to have impartiality.On the whole I am happy with my life,by my self I will do one's best to success in the future.I think my life is going to have significant.Thanks! EveryBody.

[dieuvuongqb]

Hello Every Body (one word)!
My name is TRANG.I (capitalize only the first word and watch for you spacing) was born in 1992 in Hoan Lao towns (town). My date of birth is 6_5 (6-5 or 6/5 or 6th May). I used to learn at primary and secondary school in Hoan Lao towns (town). But from 2007 years (delete this word) I was (started) studying at Hue college of science.I learn in grade 10 Literature.I lived with my family ago (in the past) but now I am living with my friends.My family has four people.My father is a soldier, my mother is a small business (businesswoman) and my younger sister is a student.I fell (feel) my life is wonderful because I know to catch the funny (joyfulness) of life. In my free time I often draw some pictures and read novels beside I want to be discovered (discover everything) because I am self_confident (self-confident) about my efford (effort). In my hollyday I like discovering natural (the nature): such as Phong Nha Cave,Phong Nha national Parks.I want to go to SAPA where has much snows white (white snow) and mountains.I allway try to learn well because I wish I would become ALAWZER WOMAN (a woman lawyer).I think I have efford (try my best) to do it. In my opinion , my life have (has) to have impartiality.On the whole I am happy with my life,by my self I will do one's (my) best to success in the future.I think my life is going to have significant (what significant???).Thanks! EveryBody.

Judge: Minh Duc
Score: Need rewriting
Comment:
Dear Trang, I think you should rewrite your essay. I see some basic errors being repeated times and times and it seems to me that you are required to improve your English proficiency better.

- Check spelling errors
- Check subject - verb agreement
- Check word choice: i.e. noun instead of adjective, etc. ==> finish sentence correctly.
- Pay attention to active and passive voice

@ Linh: how to make a note on the link? For example" #4 - NTTN - J:Duc - need comments from ..." sometimes I need your and Q.A's comments