#39 Le Thi Kim Thu & 116 Hoang Truong An

[Thiên Bình]

Contestant # 39: Le Thi Kim Thu
Quang Binh Highschool For The Gifted
Email: ltkt_1983@yahoo.com.vn

Contesant # 116: Hoang Truong An
Quang Binh Highschool For The Gifted
hoahuongduong2571992@yahoo.com

Gửi Ban giám khảo,
Em _Kim Thu và bạn em là Hoàng Trường An (emai: welcome2mylife@yahoo.com) đã quyết định cùng hợp tác làm bài thi của vòng 2. Xin lỗi vì bọn em quyết định như thế này mà không hỏi ý kiến anh chị ban giám khảo (vì thời gian quá gấp gáp, bọn em không kịp xin phép). Cả hai đứa đều cùng lọt qua vòng 1, vì vậy em thấy việc này không ảnh hưởng đến tính cạnh tranh chung, hi vọng Ban giám khảo chấp nhận bài thi của bọn em.
Chủ đề mà bọn em chọn: "What do you think Quảng Bình would look like 5 years from now?."
Bọn em làm không phải theo cấu trúc của một bài tiểu luận, mà là theo lối viết kể chuyện.
Nội dung chính: kể về một học sinh lần đầu tiên về nhà sau nhiều năm du học, từ đó học sinh này phát hiện ra thật nhiều sự thay đổi lớn của quê hương Đồng Hới...
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“The place where we begin will be the place to come back”. It was 5 years passed from the last time I stood here.


---
I walked down to the railway station with an exciting feeling.

"I'm coming back home!" I yelled in mind.

For me, who first returned after five years of studying abroad, this is really the blessed time.

I opened up my eyes and turned my head around, drew breath to fill my lung with the homeland air. It wasn't difficult to realize many changes in my homeland. Now, this station was very different from what it used to be 5 years ago, when I had left here. Then, I still remember, there had been some hundred square meters with one floor, two waiting-rooms and four railways. But then, in front of me, there was a large and crowded land. Because my train arrived in the same time with two or five others and that day was quite near the lunar new year holiday, there were so many people that I couldn't number how many railway had been built. I pushed on my suitcases over the crowds, came into the restaurant of the station to get a sit and have some food after a long travel. Orbiter, I found some more new change..

When looking around and the stylish neon hanging on the ceiling, It was impressing to find out that the station was built classically. The soft yellow light and the song named "Home" which was performed by Westlife, made me fevered a lot. I thought how my parents would be surprised when I came home without a message. That thought thrills me so much...

-----

I ran quickly to a taxi.

"Le Quy Don Street, please!" I said.

While the taxi came out the station, I opened the window and beheld my city.

"Too diffrent!" I thought.

The roads were crowded by many cars and motorbikes. Because everybody was in a hurry to prepare the party in the end of the lunar year and the weather was quite cool, I could feel the spring in the air.

"This is Tran Hung Dao Street, isn't it?" I asked the driver. Then, I thought about recalling the names of the streets.

"That's right, it is" he said "You moved away, did you?"

"Yup, I went to study. This is the first time I return home after five years. Could you name all the street we come over, please? I want to remember them."

He seemed to understand my mind. Every time we passed over a street, he had waited until I had a name in my head. Then he said the correct answers. Some streets which I based on my locality to guess were right. Others that I built on the view to guess were wrong. Most of the buildings were rebuilt. Especially, many tenements built last year (my friends had announced) were beautiful and modern.

We passed over Vietnam-Cuba-Dong Hoi hospital, the only one national hospital in Quang Binh. Looking back upon the past, many people had used to go to Hue to solve their serious trouble. The bad facility had disappointed them. But after 5 years, the hospital had been repainted and had more tools for the doctors. It was cleaner. More and more sick people believed in that hospital.

The taxi turned to the left and went on the street which had many big green trees. I was very impressed, because people had to spend a lot of money and ado to grow there trees into the city.

"Where is this?" I said, "I don't know this street. Is it new?"

"You used to learn in high school for the gifted, didn't you?" he asked "This is the road where the school is on."

I didn't believe it. Because when I had learnt there, I had been going to school on the road with no tree and a lot of strong wind. Everything around the road had been only fields and piscinas. When I saw my school, I was very surprised. There were some new buildings which had 3 floors, and a swimming pool for students.

"Wonderful! I can't imagine how the school has been changing." I said.

"This school is becoming one of the best school in middle of Vietnam. Many students from Ha Tinh, Quang Tri come here to study, so the school can be built bigger."

"Where is the wood bridge?"

"Good memory. Five years ago, there are many piscinas. But now, they have built many company and office here. We don't need the bridge any more, so they demolished it."

"I have heard that Dong Hoi has just had buses. This city is quite small. What do they need buses for?"

"You don't know, do you? The buses can make people go around Quang Binh province, not only in Dong Hoi city." he said "And now, people can go to visit Phong Nha - Ke Bang, Bang hot stream, Da Nhay beach etc... by bus"

"Really? That's so great!" I said "Touring by bus is cheap and interesting. Quang Binh has many beautiful places to visit. Buses will be very useful for tourists."

"Yes, and taxi drivers will have more free time" he smiled sadly.
Then, I didn't know what to say to make him feel better so I kept silent. I thought about the fantastic change of Quang Binh. When I was on grade 10, Quang Binh had been a poor land with much sunshine and wind.. Most of the population had been farmer. Children had studied in poor facilities. They had had to work hard with their family. Dong Hoi had been a small city. People had traveled by motorbikes on many bad road.

"Why don't you remember the road you used to go to school for 5 years?" he asked suddenly.

"I can't. Because when I stayed here, I had never went on this road to get to the station."

"I see." he said, "Do you know? There are too many transport. Some streets were blocked. So people made them become oneway streets. We have to go on the detour."

"Is the traffic so awful? However, I can see the powerful changing in Quang Binh. I think that the young have done many things to improve this poor land."

"That's right. Quang Binh young people are excellent and they work very hard." he said "Without them, this province couldn't be so good."

"Because they love their homeland" I said.

"yes." he agreed with me, "Ahhh. Do you see that building?"

"Yes, I do. What is it?"

"It's the trade center of the city with eight floors. Three ones under are supermarket. Five others are local of many companies."
It was crowded with people. They seemed very busy with a lot of things to prepare for the new year. I still remembered, 5 years before, people had gone to the market to trade. But then, they go shopping in the supermarket. It meant lives were better

---

The taxi turned slowly into Le Quy Don street, my heart beat faster and faster. There were many changes of cause, but all the memories came suddenly to me, family, friends, the place we had played, the tree we had climbed … everything! The taxi stopped, I paid rapidly the bill, thanked the kind driver. And I ran fast, as I had never run before, to my home.

The second day, My family went to visit our relatives. We arrived the car on Ly Thuong Kiet street. The road was widened, raised and resurface. Beside, trees were planted along the road. I saw many foreigners walking on the street side and many new big hotels had been built to sever visitors. I thought ”Touring developed very much, It is really good for my hometown”. Suddenly, my mother said to me ”Look! That empty land will be an entertainment centre in the near future”.

I yelled small:”Oh! Really? I still remember it used to be paddies-filed 5 years ago”.

The city changed with a dizzy speed

I was in chase of my thought, my city develops more and more. I felt proud of my city with all result that it reached.

People said that “Everyone has many places to go, but has only one place to come back”. This place is my motherland, the place where I was born, where I spent my childhood, and most of all where I am always felt love. Sometimes I wondered if one day I come back to my hometown, what my feeling will be. But then I knew, almost at that time, I would never forget this place, of course, never ......

[Thiên Bình]

From: QA

There was no resubmission from this group after I have send them the suggestions for correction, so my score will stay final on this one.

Contestants: #39 Le Thi Kim Thu & #116 Hoang Truong An
Topic #3: What QB would look like 5 years from now.
Content: 44.0
Technicality: 23.5
Grammar: 21.5
Total: 89.0

Here's the link for the detail grading:
http://www.forum.quangbinhonline.com/4r ... php?t=2812

[Thocon]

Content: 46
Technicality: 22
Grammar:20
Total: 88

Thanks.

[Tocxu]

Graded by Smiley

[Tocxu]

I really appreciate the their creativity of writing a story to tell the differences between now and 5 years in the future. There are some interesting ideas in the essay. It's a pitty that they did not submitted the revised essay. Otherwise, I believe that they would have made a wonderful story (witht the help of Thien Binh and Kim Hoa).
The following is my grading:

Content: 44.5
Technicality: 23.
Grammar: 21.5
Total: 89

[dieuvuongqb]

It is interesting to read this story. Their imagination for this topic is quite good. In terms of technique, there are still some improvements needed. But anyway, it is quite a good essay.

My grading:

Content: 44
Technique: 23
Grammar: 21.5

Total: 88.5