#26: Nguyen Thi Phuong Thanh

[Thiên Bình]

Contestant # 26: Nguyen Thi Phuong Thanh
Quang Binh Highschool For The Gifted
Email: napoleong_sutuhoangda_20@yahoo.com


Physically, man is one the weakest animals. Without the wonderful tools we have invented, we can not fly like the birds, we can not run like the horse. We have no weapons of defence like the tiger's fangs and claws, and we are not match for the lion and bear in strength . Yet we conquer all these strong and pierce beasts , and forces some of them to be our servants.Our superior intelligence and knowledge make us the master of creatures like these.
However, things that make man different from other animals are not only knowledge but also language. Today, beside mother tongue, English language is necessary for everyone. Quang Binh is a place where has many potentialities to develop.So English language plays an important role, specially in obtaining a career pertaining to Quang Binh.
In real life, English language is spoken , written and read by large numbers, and is the medium of instruction in colleges and the upper classes of schools. We have our own language but English has become so neceesary for educated people that while we must cultivate our own tongues, we must learn it and use it. It is not an easy language to learn , the spelling and pronunciation being very irregular , but we can not have a good career without it. We have a lot of chances to help Quang Binh -our hometown develop . And the first thing we must do is learning and knowing to use English. English is an international language . Quang Binh has the potentiality about traveling and English is very necessary for communication. It will be a link between us and the rest of mankind.
English is certainly necessary for anyone entering government service, trade, or the legal profession. Lawyers can not plead in the upper courts without it and anyone in business of any pretensions soon finds he is handicapped if he does not know English.
Do you want to be a tourist guide? You are a native and you can not introduce your hometown with foreigners who are visiting Quang Binh if you do not know English . Because visitors come from all parts of the world and men of different nations can not work and organise together and meet in friendly intercourse as they do at such times, without getting more knowledge of and sympathy with each other's customs and ways of thought. If you want to have an occupation of promise, you must know English.
When the metal is molten, we can run it into any mould we like, but when it is cool and becomes hard, we can not change its shape.When the tree is young , we can bend its trunk and branches as we please , but when it is old, we can not change its form without breaking or cutting it down. These are like the importance of English and learning English when we have chances.
To have a career pertaining to Quang Binh, at first, learn English. Beginnings are always difficult. But when once a good beginning has been made, the struggle becomes easier and easier, until the victory is won.

[Thiên Bình]

Sent on May 22, 2008

[Smiley]

My grading:

Content: 34
Technicality: 27
Grammar: 21.5

Total: 82.5

- Ideas are not very well-presented, and essay format is not clear (neatness and spacing.)
- Grammar errors: have problems with using adverbs like "when", "once", etc.

[Tocxu]

I agree with Smiley's comments.
The following is my grading:


Content: 32
Technicality: 28
Grammar: 22

Total: 82.

[Thocon]

My grading:

Content: 40
Technicality: 22
Grammar: 20

Total: 82

[dieuvuongqb]

The same to Tocxu, Smiley and Thocon

Content: 40
Technique: 22
Grammar: 20

Total 82